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bang bang.
Dec. 19th, 2012 11:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
binaries[ six weeks.
it's been that long and somehow, shouichi was still alive.
he'd had moments of weakness; of clarity where he had wished to die.
saeko wouldn't let him. she'd refused. now he thanked her for it. because this is what he had wanted, even if he hadn't known exactly what this was. and while it was a nightmare; while it made him so sick he could barely breathe, he'd asked for it. he wanted saeko so much that he had come to accept this reality as a necessity. after the first couple of weeks, the crying and muffled screams eventually stopped. he resolved to become strong.
shouichi both faltered and thrived under pressure. while undercover in the mafia he had adapted to the environment. this had become no different. dire circumstances meet dramatic shifts. as a person who already carried an unhealthy amount of stress, this atmosphere had somewhat fried his emotional circuits. with the unmanageable overload of anxiety, he's developed a facial tick. it happened about a week and a half ago and shows no signs of letting up. he's becoming less self-conscious about it as the days pass.
they found an old jeep at an abandoned base. with a little bit of re-wiring it was up and running. maybe soon he can figure out how to change the engine from being gas-powered to electric. maybe even solar. his hands shake and his finger slip and get cut frequently while working on projects, but it doesn't bother him all that much. he's doing it for saeko, so nothing else really matters.
when they'd met with saya-san and hirano-san, he'd been given an m-16 with a silencer from the evidence locker of an abandoned police station. in whatever time he had free, he studied it inside and out. in the last few days he'd started to re-learn some of the shooting technique he'd learned during millefiore basic training. this firearm was set to become both a part of him and his best friend.
and as the sun rises, shouichi sits on the ground with his back against the front passenger side tire, dutifully cleaning the gun. ]
it's been that long and somehow, shouichi was still alive.
he'd had moments of weakness; of clarity where he had wished to die.
saeko wouldn't let him. she'd refused. now he thanked her for it. because this is what he had wanted, even if he hadn't known exactly what this was. and while it was a nightmare; while it made him so sick he could barely breathe, he'd asked for it. he wanted saeko so much that he had come to accept this reality as a necessity. after the first couple of weeks, the crying and muffled screams eventually stopped. he resolved to become strong.
shouichi both faltered and thrived under pressure. while undercover in the mafia he had adapted to the environment. this had become no different. dire circumstances meet dramatic shifts. as a person who already carried an unhealthy amount of stress, this atmosphere had somewhat fried his emotional circuits. with the unmanageable overload of anxiety, he's developed a facial tick. it happened about a week and a half ago and shows no signs of letting up. he's becoming less self-conscious about it as the days pass.
they found an old jeep at an abandoned base. with a little bit of re-wiring it was up and running. maybe soon he can figure out how to change the engine from being gas-powered to electric. maybe even solar. his hands shake and his finger slip and get cut frequently while working on projects, but it doesn't bother him all that much. he's doing it for saeko, so nothing else really matters.
when they'd met with saya-san and hirano-san, he'd been given an m-16 with a silencer from the evidence locker of an abandoned police station. in whatever time he had free, he studied it inside and out. in the last few days he'd started to re-learn some of the shooting technique he'd learned during millefiore basic training. this firearm was set to become both a part of him and his best friend.
and as the sun rises, shouichi sits on the ground with his back against the front passenger side tire, dutifully cleaning the gun. ]
